Today. Another ordinary day...

Today, it just seems another ordinary day to me... this special day have became ordinary year by year... it just dont feel like the same any more... maybe i am just thinking too much... haha... life? who knows? haha..
Did get wishes from brothers and friends... haha... didnt get from **** and never recieve anything from **** also..haha... lol... i am complaining liao...lol...
Didnt feel that well to post...
Change my song and this is the lyrics:

Yea, Whats going on, 2006 Mario and Nesty
brand new classic
ride with us its about two guys and hot girls
yo keep it up keep it up
two step with me come on
lets do it do it do it like this

1,2 baby clap ur hands
Everybody lets go ha ha ha
I want yall ledies clap again
Let me hear u say wut wut

Uri Danduli its my story
Ddo Neoeui Mami Heumi Nae Nungaeui Nunmuli
Neowaeui Siganeun Neomunado Gileo Neomu Gileo
Ddaddeithan Naeui Mameuro Dolaogil Bileo
the ghetto Neoeui Mami Kkeullineun Daero Neon
Geudaero
Never say goodbye so get up

* If you go away
You will see me cry
Don't you let me go
baby, don't you let me down
Neul Hamgge Isseodo Deo Gaggapji Anheun
Eoddeon Euimido Eopsneun Jinbuhan Sarang
Don't you let me go
baby, don't you let me down

** You never say goodbye
Handongan Meonghani Udukeoni Anja
Dasi Saenggakhaessjiman
Meomchulsun Eopsgesseo
Ontong Geudae Saenggak
Halsu Bakke Eopsneun Nae Jasini Miuo
Don't you let me go
baby don't you let me down

And we the best ain't no need to stress
Mario and nasty ain't on need to impress
Yo! Neoeui Mamuel Bada Naeui Mameun
Byeonchianha
Heona Mam Teong Binchaero Biuodujin Anha
Call it a fling or a love thing
I don't care I can handle any drama that you bring
Bam Kkok Seuo Mam Kkok Sarangeuro Chaeuo
with out u im etter no one could do it better
Mario right tight errnight that's right

I am still in love with you hey
Nae Mameul Jeoldae Ihae Mothandago
I am still in love with you hey
Let me hear you say hey hey hey

Yo check it Niga Nareul Ddeonandago
Ojik Isesange Neoran Yeoja Hanarago
Kkotkkoti Namjadapge Pogihajin Anha
only u Ojikhana only u Ijjinanha
baby 1,2,3,4 I got the mic check

[Repeat * , **]

1,2 baby clap ur hands
Everybody lets go ha ha ha
I want yall ladies clap again
Let me hear u say hey hey hey

Sarangdo Byeonchianha Naeui Meomdo
Byeonchianha
Naeui Kkumeul Irhjin Anha Jeoldae Pogin Eopsda
Ill logic real toxic switch quicker than tiptonic
hetero sexual the kids flow is incredible
Sarangdo Byeonchianha Naeui Meomdo
Byeonchianha
Naeui Kkumeul Irhjin Anha Jeoldae Pogin Eopsda
Yea-

Life... Unfair? There's good and bad...

Whats life? How do you know if its a meaningful life?
Its crap, all crap... believe it or not... humans are just real a pain in the a**, there's a Chinese idioms that is：好事不出门，坏事传千里, it meant, all the good thing you have done no one really care about it, but once you did something wrong it seems like you became a sinner all will start to know about it...
However, 人非圣贤， 孰能无过, it means humans aint saints or sages, so there will always be mistakes...
Today, quite fun.. in school i was super hypo... lol... then after that went to ICA accompany Bran to make his IC... then after that went Safrai play pool and bowling...
After that..admit i did something that was really stupid... but come on... you aint that good either...lol... 'threaten' by someone... lol... he wasnt at wrong la, but come on la..nvm...
Haha.. nth much to say now... long time never update blog... too downcast to be posting all this...
But lastly, 나는 나가 부정에… 첫째로 다는 것을 알고 있다 , 유감스러운…

1 Commitment...CHAOS!!!

Today when on the way around the school to find teacher... walk pass 1 commitment saw Justin and he hopped onto me and i brought him to the class. I was warmly welcome by all of them, glad... haha...
Then all of a sudden everyone started to shout over the CNY hamper...lol... they quarrel like little kids, some trying to control the class, some wanted the job to be done and some simply just want some peace and quiet... but then i need to carry on my thing so i left the class...
After school went back and saw them shouting again... haiz... all because of a hamper...haiz.. Monday they are going to do so i going there to ensure safety...haha
Because Bran, Sq and Malz they all got competition so i sub them and follow jun to RP and have some science competition thing... the people talk until i going to sleep... but as usual the refreshment was good...haha
Overall, today was a fun and hyper day...haha... Looking forward to the rest of the year...

Your vision become clear when you are able to see with your heart...

Just not expecting it....

today i got back some of my test just know that i did not do quite well... haiz... i am not putting effort into my work...
Everytime see the proposal will get really pissed off caused all the members doesnt want to do or no time or time crash together. i am just pissed off really pissed off... promise that they did keep... disappointed... haiz...

not in the mood of talking...

Suntec City... Master forgive and forget skill...

Today went Suntec!!! It started out at a gloomy morning... the 8 of us are going to Suntec for some Youth Olympics Games (YOG) thing... i woke up at about 5a.m. tired.... then bran,sq,mal,rach,qixin,stella,aidil and me meet up at CWP. In the MRT most of them play emo some going west then some going east of the train(in one cabin) then Bran, stella, qixin and me stand in the equator and became middleman... it took us about 45 mins to reach there... when we reach the convention hall then we knew Mr Vik wasnt coming...haiz... the talk was like damn bored and long but we saw lots of youth Olympians.. and the refreshment was great.. we took some potato chips and we thought we took alot when we saw the primary school people took 3,4 packets in their hand...
After that we took alots of pictures have some fun shots and some emo pics... i think i wouldnt have one if i didnt speak up for myself...
We took our pics and went to eat and Master the forgive and forget skill:

(Forgive and Forget)
Lvl: Infinite
Description: Being in a state where you just forgive and forget.
Escape from abnormal condition...
Type: Passive
Mental defense: Forever
Physical defense: For life
Duration: Never ending...

*Being like a toy that keeps the smile, being like a statue to keep everything out, being like a human who change things around...*

I know I know its maple... and need to concentrate on school right?
On our way home bran, sq and mal were asleep but i cant cause board the train then got very high tide... need to wait 45 mins!!! we were planning to print out the pictures but Bran's phone went out of batt when jun call... haiz... he wasnt here cause got tuition...
Reached CWP then go walk walk but then went Old Chang Kee to buy sotong head (bran dont like) Bought hot dogs ( Sq turn to dont like) dont know the reasons...
After that took bus home...

Solitude

Solitude... whenever this word came into my mind, i will often think of being alone, it was cold and dark... really no one there but myself...
Friends what are these people all about? They are also humans, which was like you and I but there is always something that made them special... they walk with you on the path you chose... they are people who were know you abit more... its just abit but it make a huge differences. Sometimes, maybe you would of it as a disaster, they sometimes may be in your way or they just do not accommodate to you, but actually they lead you, true friends, a blessing to get them...
Often, or should i say everytime, when i am having a group party, people tend to play a role of an emo guy/girl or someone that need others to care. Till now then I've realised, for most of the event i went out i just do not play a role in it, i felt like that i am just an empty soul which come and go without anyone realising.
During this October to December holiday, i know that i only had be with two person most of the time, often i got told by the back saying that i was a huge 'lightbulb' destroying happiness, instead of shooting out ray of light, it became that i shot out rockets or bombs that destroyed things, creating chaos and hate...
All these just make me realised that i just someone that causes all this problems, the sole/core of all this unhappiness...
Always, after all unhappy thing i have encountered being with or without a group, i would just keep myself happy, cause there always alittle strength in me and make me believed in myself, but its only just alittle strength and dun noe how long i could hold on... This year was really not my year, thing wasnt going in my way and really had lots of problems...
So for my upcoming years, i really hope that thing can get a whole lot better... and could find someone...
Bond that might be stronger...Create a new legend...

Worst! Worst day of my life! But also realised reality life

The day started when i need to go to school at 7.30 because of the secondary one orientation. When i reached school and saw all my bros (including me) in long pants... all look so smart... Then next our job was to direct the student and the parent, but the parent didnt want to sit and keep sticking with their child... when we ask them to sit they just nod their head and stand there again...diao... but overall the thing was good but just that my long pant was really warm!!!
After that, Anton, Malz and i went to jun's house. Play there... play computer and play piano... After that went to find Bran, ask him whether he want to go and cycle with us, but he was too tired and doesnt want to go...
Next, i went back to my house and change my clothes and went to ziyu house and request of borrowing their bicycle...went through lots of procedures to get the bicycle...
We cycle our way to Sebawang where we have our lunch...
Our journey continue as we ride our way to Sebawang beach, we play there and caught some crabs. Then our next station was to find Stella Chee, and she say she was at Ang Mo Ko...

GTG continue Tomorrow...

Great teacher! Great Lessons!...

Today, after the lesson of halogen i kind of uncovered some of myself... it was indeed a really great lesson and some of us shed tears at the later part of the course. we did on quite alot of things this past two day and we discovered our true self in it, what Martin say was meaningful, interesting and facts of lifes... he taught us alot and we also absorb it... have a sharing time of our powerful and powerless time, happy and sad...sweet and bitter... it make us recall lots and lots of things. what was most memorable was the video at the end about Mattie Stepanek, he was a 11 years old guy on 2001 that promote world peace... although suffering from a rare disease he live life to the fullest and had three wishes that was all granted... after that video it really knock me back to sense and learn to really cherished everyone... don't live with regret... tell your loved ones about how you feel about them... don't wait till the end as it will be too late... it was really a great video and Mattie ROX!!! i know others feel it too...
To all the friends,buddies,teachers and everyone... thank you... thank you for what you all had done, with all those encouragements, scoldings and humans life and experience really make me think of lots of things... thx buddies for all the things we been through... memorable days, memorable times and memorable peoples... GREAT memories...

Happy memories and times...

Having two post together today... lets talk about yesterday first...

Yesterday

Having a BBQ at east coast... woke up at 9.. at about 10+ i online and finally all my buddies online... we were discussing on what time are we going to bran's house... 11.30 went out of the house cause need to meet jun as we dun wan to stay at home and we went to buy things... as i was the first to reached, i walked around causeway and finally i went to the entrance and see jun with his maid... the maid was carrying a pair of big roller blade and jun just walk light handed... 'abuse of maid:P'... after that we went to cold storage and we bought some drinks... at 12.30 we meet outside breadtalk and mal, sky and rach came. While we are waiting for qx we talk lots of craps..hahax... after receiving a call from qx and she told us to go ahead we went to bran's house. We went up and call him and he came out of the house with his ***** and we ask rach not to see...OMG...hahax... Finally we went down and lucky enough bran's dad drove us there... thx!... in the car, we had lots of fun... we talk and than sleep in it... about 45 mins we reached east coast and we walk towards the bicycle and the roller blade shop and i was at the dilemma whether to rent the bicycle or the blade... after a deep thought i decided and took the blade, although it was 10 bucks it was quite ok... at the first i was abit clumsy but i got hold of it and play... jun, bran, mal, and i was playing around but i couldn't catch up as i wasn't quite good at it... when it was resting time i sat down and qx requested that she want to learn and i gave her the blade. she was very clumsy and she couldn't stand up and was on the verge of falling down... after a few mins i left her alone and when to the beach where sky and rach was and we started playing the sand, after that mal and jun came and we drew our names on the sand and it was really BIG... after that we went to bowling and bran, mal and sky were playing but that isn't there place and balls as they could not get the score and surprisingly sky got a strike at the last ball and emerge as the champion... as they were starting there second game me, qx and israq went back to help and start the fire... when we were there and try to start the fire it took a long time for us to start it even when bran and the rest finished the match... shu yan also went to help us but it wasn't successful... and finally rennie's mom came and help us if not we need to eat raw food... when we were barbecuing we saw Mrs Tan but she wore the clothes that make us laugh... and they started to call her auntie... and at the time zi yu also got hurt as there was sand it her eyes... while we were barbecuing the others that didn't help went to grab the food and start to eat...ahhh... after talking to us Mrs Tan went back to her table where her family are and sq and rach went to the beach and talk some secrets... bran took his bic and cycle off to somewhere far along with mal... having fun time cooking the food and eat... at about 7 i went to gather them back and tell them that they can eat but i found no sign of mal and bran... at about 8 rach, jun, sky and myself when to Mrs Tan table and talk to her and play with her two child, Renna and Elliott and they were adorable... went talking to Elliott which was two years old... he was so soft that i lean my ear forward and listen to what he say... and guess what... he went to kiss me..OMG... that was sooo random and i was shock and cher told me that he don't anyhow kiss others one and the others was laughing... lol... and we went to talk food for them... Renna being the biggest at four years old and was bright loves rach and us... and she told cher that she like us...haha.. and went they were going rach want to carry Renna the last time but instead of carrying her Renna requested to hug her... so sweet... and cher want us to take pics... cher went to tell the others that she is going home but they were having their dinner at mac... after that bran and mal came back and saw that not much food was left and was quite angry... sry that never left some food for you all... they went to mac and join Mrs Tan... jun, sky, rach, stella and me went there too and we went to talk to them again... at about 9+ they wen t home and we went back to the pit except for bran, mal and sky... went back and saw zi yu still having sand in her eye and rennie parents brought her to the doctor... and we eat and eat... at about 9 something sarah came and she brought bee hoon for us... haha... so much food. clear up all the things at about 10 and we put out the fire that gave out poisonous gases... lol... after that bran's dad drove us back again... thx so much!!! and we talk inside and sleep and relax... haha... fun day... very memorable...

Today

ok... keep it short... woke up at 8 assuming that it start at 9 but it was 10... reached school and we saw Martin... our instructor instead of Ling... but never mind he's good too... have our lunch break at about 11.45 and we went CWP to eat... ahhh... very rush... and we rush back to school as we thought we are going to be late and went we reached school the library wasn't opened... have lesson again... tea break at 3.10 and went to 883 to buy bubble tea... make it back to school late again...haiz..haha.. and watch a video... don't quite understand it. and jun wrote somethings soo good that Mr Martin want him to send him a copy...

Overall, i think that the both day was exciting and fun... it was memorable too... learn something over these two days... time really wait no man and cherished everyone beside you, learn to forgive and forget... everyone have their mistake but learn from it and apply changes to it... no one is perfect and no one will ever be...

Deep thoughts, Deeper moments, Deepest confusion

Don't know whats gone into me... feeling very lost, very tired of running already, really hope to have a long long break... however i know running away doesn't get me anywhere, i only seep into it deeper and deeper... but what can i do? i can't possibly sit down to think of a way, time seriously wait no man how long do i need to take? or should i just start with it right away, aiming aimlessly towards things... maybe i am in a dream that tell me what i am going to be if i still continue to do what i am doing (pinched* pinched*) NO! i am not in a dream, this is a reality, always want to be optimistic, but can i? facts is all infront of me, can't escape out of it.

Always knew that behind all darkness there will always be light, but i have been waiting for quite awhile but it doesn't seem to appear... Should i continue to wait for it? or should i make my own light, a light that can shine through all darkness and keep me going, but for everything, i need something in order to get the thing. where can i find the thing, what am i missing?

Envy all my friends around me, getting all high marks but all are not happy of what they got, kept complaining about how many marks to this, do well in this can score better in this, really can't take it anymore!!!NO MORE!!! stop it already, can you all? comparing your results and whining about how much you all got... but can't you all just take pity on me... stop this already. shouldn't i be the one who do all this? all this whining, complaining, crying, moaning... what exactly should i or can i do?...

Really damn lost now, lost my sense of direction, lost myself, lost in this 'dream'. how could i get out of this? oh someone, please, please save me out of this nightmare...

Odd... shouldn't i be happy after exam, releasing such a heavy load... time really passes very fast. life of secondary three: should i be happy or sad? is it another nightmare or it is a start of something new?

~("Buddies")~

Really really cherished them alot, these are friends that is hard to find, no words could possibly described them... we been through quite alot and hope that this bond would not be broken... don't really know how to express my gratitude towards them... thanks really much...

@(~Jun~Bran~Sky~Malz~)@

What should we do?

Today, the secret was revealed... but all i could see is hurt and pain around them...somehow, she doesn't expect this to be happening. i also quite involve in it, seeing them like that really hurts but what can i do? whats going to happened? maybe i shouldn't even talk when i was there... maybe if he is the one revealing all this none of this incident would happen...whats she is doing now is screaming her head out and hope that this wasn't happening Seriously, don't know whats going to happened this few days but hope its great, cause really don't want gaps in between hard for us and hard for them. what he wish was a happy ending...
but now not sure if he is the Mr. Right cause he never got a reply and he assumed that he does not stand a chance... haiz really hate to see all this stupid things going on!!! stop it!!! no more!!! how i wish i could reverse time and stop all this from happening and even erase it from their mind so they forget about this... life will be different after this day? really hope that it will not happening if not there's only a choice...a choice that will would be...
but from what i know, no matter whats the outcome, he will always want her to be happy... a smile on her face suits her the best/more then anyone...

Down and here are the savers......

Yesterday, i was really down but dont really want to say it out. luckily Shi Qiang and Jun Liang were outside of my class and they console me, dont know why would i get 'the thing'!!! I am also very glad that Brandon even took out some of his time for going through his exam script and console me. very grateful to them all! best buddies forever!!!

!TRUST!

All i ever i wanted is a simple word: (TRUST) but i simply cant get it, even from my VERY VERY BEST buddies! sometimes kind of find it meaningless without trust, secret that arent allow to be spoken have been allow leak out, and ironically instead of finding others, their first suspect is me... cant believed that they could do this, feel damn hurt... and utterly disappointed. feeling of it is like a deep scar, deeply craved into your heart, no matter what you do also cant amend it. its not that i am a person full of grudge but all i need is just trust in everyone eyes, and why cant they give it to me?
I watch them fall every time, i got my head in and watch them cry every time but dont wish that their hopes fades away every time.
WHAT ABOUT TRUST?
you know they never want to hurt you......
Life is always full of 'surprises' hope that they react with what i say, if not i really dont know what to do and feel that all is very meaningless......
*****TrU5+*****