Thank You! Mrs Hariz and Mrs Tan

Thank you so much for your enlightenment, i am feeling much better now. luckily you all came in time as no words could really describe my feeling at the time, thanks shi qiang and jun liang too as you encourage me. thanks i will never forget you all!!!

Rachel Birthday... having lots of fun

On 25 Aug, sat was actually Rachel bd our plan is that we meet at CWP at 12.30. in the end, our plan was delay cos of some ppl that was late! after that we took the Mrt to yishun country club.
we went there and some of us play pool, we waited the pool table for very long as the other table was spoiled and the guy playing was so rich that he kept taking out money after a game and we waited for one an hour before we could get that table finally...
during our waiting Stella and Zaff came, Stella bought cakes for us while Zaff bought a simple card for Rachel due to lack of time. so after a few rounds of pool for teaching Rach how to play by the pro Jun, brandon treat Zaff to a bowling match and there are three players Zaff, Brandon and Rach. they were quite clumsy but Zaff was the pro.. in the game.
immediately after the game we went to Northpoint and have our dinner, while they are having their dinner Stella and i went to buy cakes for Rach as she have a voucher of Cold storage and we bought Saraa lee cake, some corn flakes and whipped cream. out the storage we took out all the things and started to put it into the cake and i put lots of cream, on the way i took out some of the flakes and eat...
while we were on the way to the food court we saw Rachel and she saw the cake! we quickly turn back and we waited for her to come out of the toilet which was about 20 mins and the cream of the cake melted...
Stella was quite impatient le so she tell Brandon and the rest when Rachel is back stay there and make her seated. when we received the call we go into the food court and find them not in it. at the time she was very furious and she call Brandon and when we saw them she and Brandon started a Debate session and both of then kept shouting. finally they stop cos the care bout Rach and we went back in to have the cake but i put too much cream on it which you can see in the pic below

after the cake which taste quite nice we set off to Sebawang Beach which is actually the destination of east coast but its too late we drop off at Sebawang and the '3 evil lame girls' went home so it was left with Rach, Zaff, Stella, Kenji, Brandon and me the six of us. we took 812 to the beach, on the way we sang lots of songs and they play with ants...
we reach and we went to play we thought that Rach and Stella was gone and we have no idea that they were playing in the playground. Brandon and i went to test out the 'Relightable candle' that did not quite relight on the first few trys but we need to relight the candles which is quite ironic. but at last we figure out and we know how to use it.
while we were playing happily Zaff and Stella went back home respectively and left with the four of us Rach, Kenji, Brandon and i which was how we started when we reach CWP we playing happily in the sea and we were like crazy putting sand on our hand making it heavy so that we could not take out and Kenji was playing in the sand and made Rach shout.
at about 11.30 we settled down and we sang a proper BD song for Rach and we relax...
Rach went to change so it left with Bran, Ken and me and the tide was very strong so Ken went to test out the water which causes him to have cramps...
after we all change we went to a table and we asked Rach to open her present and we were glad that she was like and we missed to take a photo of the expression of her face when she opened it. her dad and mom plus her sis came wish really looks like Rach and they went home. it was going 12 and luckily Bran's dad agreed of sending us home and we were very grateful as we could not find any buses at the time. when i reached home i had a 1 hr bath cos i need to wash out the sand in the pants and shirt. Had a great day hope this stays with me every time every night... and looking forward if this event continue...

Being an intelligent gurl/guy isn't as easy or simple as you think....

Sometimes just think that y am i the only prefect that is out of that class... i am so useless cant even make myself study harder keep playing computer games. maybe i should have faith in myself... but where do you think i gonna get all those!
sometimes being that 'intelligent' isn't a great thing at all, keep getting stress all over getting quite emo nowadays, dun noe why must we ever grow up but sometimes grown ups may be better but when it is better you could only live for a few more years. at the blink of eye its already twenty or thirty years time passes far but hurt doesn't it stick to your heart so for a year or so but some just haunt you down all your life! really wonder should i be happy or what someone just tell me why are we in this world with pain, hurt or anything you doesn't want. searching for the light in my heart dun even noe when would i get out of this dark tunnel, if i got out will it be a gd thing or should i just stay inside? sufferings everywhere you could get family problems, sch works, frens, just stress... where do i get all this out or should i just let it seep into my heart. sometimes really wanna cry in sch like in Mr Fato's (maybe wrong spelling) class how could they do those thing to him? really useless of me not help a guy that is old enough be our grandfather. like what our form teacher say we are worst then scums so disappointed with all of us. rite after that was eng lesson he came in, instead of scolding us he came in and praised us, how forgiving can he be! i was on the verge of crying when he told us that he doesn't want us to get scolded but he wanted us to be more responsible with our own actions. with this i broke down into tears keep dripping like a loosen tap. he was the second teacher that made me cried no idea how great he was.
i also hate myself for 'mistreating' Mrs tan last year, this years she was my teacher too, during classes she got 'bullied' by those idiots in class hate me for not standing up for her... maybe cos i didn't even want to care bout myself.
times passes really doesn't want people beside me to get hurt rather seeing them as happy as before, must be in lots pressure to be in the first class, pressures from teacher and sch but do you think you all are the only ones suffering never imagine wat people around you felt. other classes are also having problems not just because we are not in the class we do not experience pressure you all are feeling. do you all ever think that all this people suffer more ? try being scolded by you parent saying you stupider than other. lots of ppl are also suffering!
not saying all this because of my own selfishness but y so stupid hiding everything inside of you having the idea of killing yourself! sometimes don't you all know that saying out to ppl that care to you is much more better better then others guessing wat are you thinking. admit that i also keep things to myself but really hate that, someday we may blow .
To: P'family and other P we are a big family having problems dun mind sharing it out? especially to P'family, notice that we have lots of stress.
wish everyday was as happy as it could ever been.