Deep thoughts, Deeper moments, Deepest confusion

Don't know whats gone into me... feeling very lost, very tired of running already, really hope to have a long long break... however i know running away doesn't get me anywhere, i only seep into it deeper and deeper... but what can i do? i can't possibly sit down to think of a way, time seriously wait no man how long do i need to take? or should i just start with it right away, aiming aimlessly towards things... maybe i am in a dream that tell me what i am going to be if i still continue to do what i am doing (pinched* pinched*) NO! i am not in a dream, this is a reality, always want to be optimistic, but can i? facts is all infront of me, can't escape out of it.

Always knew that behind all darkness there will always be light, but i have been waiting for quite awhile but it doesn't seem to appear... Should i continue to wait for it? or should i make my own light, a light that can shine through all darkness and keep me going, but for everything, i need something in order to get the thing. where can i find the thing, what am i missing?

Envy all my friends around me, getting all high marks but all are not happy of what they got, kept complaining about how many marks to this, do well in this can score better in this, really can't take it anymore!!!NO MORE!!! stop it already, can you all? comparing your results and whining about how much you all got... but can't you all just take pity on me... stop this already. shouldn't i be the one who do all this? all this whining, complaining, crying, moaning... what exactly should i or can i do?...

Really damn lost now, lost my sense of direction, lost myself, lost in this 'dream'. how could i get out of this? oh someone, please, please save me out of this nightmare...

Odd... shouldn't i be happy after exam, releasing such a heavy load... time really passes very fast. life of secondary three: should i be happy or sad? is it another nightmare or it is a start of something new?

~("Buddies")~

Really really cherished them alot, these are friends that is hard to find, no words could possibly described them... we been through quite alot and hope that this bond would not be broken... don't really know how to express my gratitude towards them... thanks really much...

@(~Jun~Bran~Sky~Malz~)@